Shattered Remains
by hawtnesswithwings
Summary: "Ms. Blye has been in a car accident," that's all it takes for him to be sitting up and listening to what Hetty's saying. Strengths are tested as the team suffers a brutal hit. Deeks has to come to terms with the fact that Kensi might not be so strong.
1. Chapter 1

He was frustrated to begin with, so when his phone wakes him up at 4:00 am, he's not such a happy camper. He and Kensi had one of their little disputes, and the gym was closed because apparently some chemicals had spilled and needed to be cleaned up. So basically, the tension was about to hit the roof, and it had taken a while for Deeks to wear himself out with his frustration.

"Hello?" He managed to make himself sound less angry, because frankly the person on the other end of the phone probably wasn't personally and purposefully ruining his night/day. But then again, they were calling at 4:00, so it was a possibility.

"Mr. Deeks,"

Sadly, it takes him a bit to reply because he may or may not have drifted off again, he only responded when Hetty cleared her throat on the other end.

"Yes, Hetty?" He's trying to wake himself up because he knows Hetty wouldn't call at this hour unless it were necessary. But, he can't really find it in himself to get pumped for work.

"Ms. Blye has been in a car accident," that's all it takes for him to be sitting up and listening to what Hetty's saying.

Deeks is good at undercover because he's sharp and can cover himself under high pressure situations without even blinking. He's always articulate, both because he likes to talk, and because it could save his life. So, he immediately makes a question that will cut right to the heart of the matter and give him the answers he needs.

"What?" He's sliding out of bed, pulling on some clothes, while she tells him what happened.

"She's being treated at Pacific Beach Medical, I'll fill you in when you get here." As he hears the line go dead, he shoves the phone into his pocket, grabs his badge, gun, wallet, and keys, and is out the door in less than a minute.

* * *

><p>As he swings his car into the parking space, he doesn't even ponder on the fact that it probably looked super bad ass...or really douchey. As he runs up to the entrance, he can't help the shudder that passes through him as he runs past the spot she almost got abducted in, because this is the exact hospital he was taken to when he was shot.<p>

He wishes that he could say he burst through the hospital doors and his gut guided him to where he needed to be, and that he flew into Kensi's room like in the movies. But, of course he ended up getting taken out by a gurney and needing to make sure he hadn't broken something or cracked a rib. By the time he sprinted/limped (splimped? linted?) up to the front desk he was ready to wring someone's neck.

"I'm here for Kensi Blye, which room is she in?" He tapped his fingers against the counter, wondering how the nurse could be so calm at a disastrous time like this. He just wanted to be there with Kensi, but this lady was typing at a speed of a slug.

"I'm sorry sir, I'm not allowed to give out that information." She responded, glancing at the screen once more.

"I'm here for Kensi Blye." He said, harness lacing his tone as he held up his badge for her to see, "which room is she in." Who cares if he seemed like the primo asshole of the world, he needed to get to Kensi.

The nurse stared at him for second, but he just kept the badge there for her to see.

"216 ICU."

He didn't stay long enough for her to say U, because he was already sprinting for the elevators.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Deeks." He stopped his sprint towards her room, and spun on his heel to see Hetty sitting in one of the waiting room chairs, looking cool as a cucumber. Hetty patted the empty chair next to herself, and it was one of those rare moments where he wanted to ignore her and do what he wanted.<p>

"Hetty, I _need_ to see her." He can clearly hear the desperation in his voice, and he's literally about to get on his hands and knees a start begging.

"Mr. Deeks, that isn't possible at the moment. Ms. Blye is just getting out of surgery and visitors won't be allowed just yet. Now sit." Hetty gave him a pointed look, clasping her hands together tightly in her lap. Deeks had a feeling she was doing so to prevent herself from strangling him.

"Do we have any news on her condition? What happened?" He felt extremely lost and it was taking all he had not to completely lose it.

"So far we have no received any news on her condition." Hetty took a calming breath, before continuing. Despite the beliefs of her agents, she knew all about their little thing and feelings. "As for the cause of this, Ms. Blye was hit by a car, and sustained critical injuries, another was hit as well, but died on the scene. What your partner needs is for us to cooperate and to let the doctors do their job."

He took a breath, trying to heed her warning and get his head back on, but in all actuality it was pretty much a wasted effort.

"The other driver? Did he or she get injured or anything?" Deeks kept his eyes on the wall, because he knew that if he moved his eyes from that small square inch of space he would probably start to deteriorate.

There was a long silence that hung in the air, almost taunting him.

"The car was an unmarked car, it was a hit a run. The whereabouts of the driver is still unknown."

There was a light click as Deeks' jaw snapped together. He clenched his hands tighter, and he knew that if his nails were longer, he definitely would've broken skin. The stark white walls seemed to slowly be tinging red, and the urge to strike something was rapidly growing. Just as he was about to really lose his temper, before he did something stupid, Hetty's smaller hands covered his clenched one.

"Mr. Deeks." Her commanding tone caused his to snap his gaze to her, and the look she sent him made him begin to force his anger down. "We'll do everything we can and more, you know that."

He unclenched his hands, but grasped his head between them, preventing himself from hitting anything. He ran his hands through his hair, hoping to keep his temper under control, a task that was apparently impossible. One of Hetty's hands came up, and grasped his shoulder tightly, grounding him.

Soon, a larger hand was also patting his back. He lifted his head up for a second to see Sam staring at him with sympathy. He dropped his head back down, because that look just made things worse.

By the time the doctor came out saying they could see Kensi one at a time, he had worked up so much tension, and had so much pent up emotion that he had sprinted into her room just to see her, not even caring if the others wanted to see her first.

When his eyes scanned over her, he nearly had his nervous breakdown right there, he sucked in a sharp breath in surprise. He stumbled forward, and caught the bed railing for balance as he looked over her body. Bandages covered a lot of her, blocking his view from the stitches beneath. Bruises covered almost every surface, and her left leg was elevated, wrapped in a cast. Her arm was gauzed up, and if he had just skimmed over he probably would've thought it was a sleeve. He had to swallow down some pain, and tamp down nausea as he realized the ventilator was present and on, doing its job at keeping her alive, taking the breaths for her.

He collapsed into the chair beside her bed, before tentatively grabbing her hand, afraid to break more of her already broken body.

* * *

><p>Sam took a shuddering breath in as he paused outside the door, before squaring his shoulders, putting on a tough facade, and walking in. He planned on being formal, so he could stay put together, but that was quickly halted. The sight of Kensi in such a vulnerable state would've been enough, but the shattered look on Deeks' face as he stared at her, the look of a lost man, was what really hit him hard.<p>

It seems silly that earlier today, he and Kensi had been taking down bad guys, and she had seemed completely untouchable. Obviously that wasn't really the case. For some reason, he couldn't stop thinking of her happy, healthy, strong. Sam had paternal instinct, and it definitely came into play with Kensi, so he was feeling pretty blasted right now. Although, judging by Deeks' state, not as much as he was.

"Hey Deeks, you can go home and get some sleep, I can watch her now." He leaned against the door, crossing his arms over his chest, waiting for the detective to leave.

He frowned as he realized that Deeks wasn't responding, hadn't even given a sign that he comprehended that Sam was there. Frowning, he tried again.

"Deeks, you can leave I'll take over." He pushed himself off the wall, and took a tiny step closer into the room. If he hadn't noticed the slight tightening of Deeks' hand on Kensi's fingertips, he would've thought Deeks had lost all ability of movement.

He stood there for another couple minutes, before realizing that Deeks wasn't going to move just yet. He spun on his heel, deciding that he could be of some use at the mission. He turned his head just in time to see Deeks drop his facade and almost crumble.

* * *

><p><strong>Is it pretty creeps that I watched 'Personal' so many times I know the hospital off the top of my head?<strong>

**Should I continue? Drop a comment and say what you wanna see in this story if you think I should continue!**

**3 you all!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Now there can be _two _visitors_._" He looked up to see Callen plop himself in the chair opposite him. Deeks had been sitting in the same spot for three and a half days, only getting up if he really needed to use the bathroom. The nurses must have felt bad for him, because they brought him meals when they could, though he hardly ate any of it.

"Nothing to do at the mission?" He looked back to Kensi, and brushed some hair that had drifted into her face, back behind her ear. After, he traced his fingers along her jaw, taking in each bruise or healing cut marring her skin. He retracted his hand as he heard Callen adjust in his chair, but didn't pull his eyes from her.

"Nothing too important, just paperwork." Callen leaned back in the chair, and ran a hand over his head. He wasn't quite sure what to do in this situation. "So uh, how have things been here?"

"Okay, not much has changed, she ran a fever for a bit yesterday." Callen noted the wince that Deeks let escape at that. "She still hasn't woken up, much less stirred." Callen took in how Deeks was sitting on the edge of his chair, leaning on her bed as if she had some sort of magnetic pull on him.

"She'll come around Deeks, we just have to be patient." So, that might not have been the best advice, he noticed Deeks' slight tensing, but breathed a sigh of relief when he relaxed a few seconds later. "You look like shit, you been sleeping, eating, getting some exercise?" So he was kind of mama bearing, but no big deal.

"I haven't been sleeping too much, but I get enough. The nurses bring me food, and I have to walk to the bathroom." Was it so much that all Deeks wanted was for her to wake up? He had never been overly religious, but he had been praying so much that he was probably catching up to the pope by now.

"Deeks, you re-"

"Knock knock." Callen snapped his head to the door as he was cut off by Nell, who was clutching her precious tablet and a duffle bag. "Am I interrupting?"

"Uhm, no. Actually I was just going to head back." He pushed himself out of the chair, noticing the discomfort in his back already present. he wondered how the hell Deeks had managed to sit in that chair for three days. "Take care of yourself man." He said, patting Deeks on the shoulder before walking out the door.

"Hey," Deeks threw at her, striving to be polite. Nell was almost taken aback by the difference between Marty Deeks, and this guy. She was so used to the carefree and happy Deeks, who joked about her height, and always had something to say that could make her smile.

"Hey, just came to check on her and bring a go bag, you know, for when she gets better and is discharged." She makes sure to stress the when, stating it as a fact, something that will most definitely happen.

She knows she said the right thing, as he lets a small smile out briefly, so brief she almost missed it, but it's there. She sets the bag down, and is about to leave when he stops her.

"Nell?" It's the undertone of desperation in his voice that makes her turn back to him. "I know you have the video of it. Can I see it?" He sounds so broken and meek that it breaks her heart just a little bit. He somehow seems both 20 years younger and older at the same time.

"Oh Deeks, I don't really think that such a good idea." Huge understatement, that would be a disaster, shitstorm of the year.

"Nell, please, I need to see it." She hasn't heard him sound this desperate ever, and although she knows it's not the best idea, she finds herself pulling it up on the tablet.

As Deeks see's the video taken from the traffic cam play out before his eyes, he clenches the hand free of Kensi's. He sees Kensi's car waiting at the intersection, the light still red. Her light turns green, and she's almost in the middle of the intersection when he sees it. First, a woman is hit, crossing the street, but the unmarked car doesn't stop. He flinches as the car makes contact, the tough fronting of the navy car, slaws into the drivers side of Kensi's car. The navy car just backs up, detaching the crushed metal from the other crushed metal, before speeding off.

"Has there been any progress?" He coughs a little, clearing his throat a bit because it's started to feel as though he was swallowing cotton.

"Not yet, but you know we're doing everything." Nell bit her lip as she saw his downcast face, "don't worry, we'll get this asshole." She squeezes his shoulder, before shoving the tablet into her bag, wanting it out of his sight.

He ran his thumb over her hand, for comfort before glancing at the heart rate monitor, making sure the rise and fall was steady.

Nell opened her mouth, about to offer some words of comfort, but the beeping of her phone alerted her to the fact that work was still there.

"We're going to figure this out Deeks, we always do."

Then she turned on her heel, and walked out the door quickly, not wanting to see the broken body of Kensi Blye anymore. If Wonder Woman could be taken down, what did that say about the rest of the normal people?

* * *

><p><strong>Hey so the story's going to get a bit more substance now, please leave a reviewcomment!**


	3. Chapter 3

3 days earlier

"Alright, I have reached my paperwork capacity, I'll see you guys later." She shoved her belongings into her purse, and waved to Sam and Callen. Deeks was off to who knows where possibly doing something stupid, but she wasn't his mom or his babysitter and he could deal with himself.

She was drained, it was simple as that. It seemed that with their current case, layers kept being peeled away and some new disaster would arise. It seemed as if there was a case, in a case, in a case, and so on. It was like fucking case-ception, and she was sort of regretting watching that movie with Deeks.

The moment she shoved her keys in the ignition, she debated going back inside and working out her in the range, but decided against it. Things had been tense lately, and it seemed the small things were setting her off. Deeks being Deeks picked up on it, which of course ticked her off a bit, so things weren't exactly sunshine and rainbows.

Pulling out into traffic her mind sort of drifted a bit, not enough so she would hit anyone but she wasn't exactly 100% concentrated on the road.

_"Deeks I just don't think you should be running point for this." She crossed her arms and glared him down, but he just stared right back._

_"Why not? I'm perfectly capable, in fact I've done it numerous times, successfully might I add."_

_ "You don't know all the procedures, both tactical and safety wise." She really wanted to throw something at him._

_In all honesty, she wanted to run point mainly because earlier some idiot from LAPD (not Deeks) had made a jab about her not holding her weight on the team because she's a woman and let the men do everything, and yeah it grated her a bit._

_"That's total bullshit and you know it." His gaze hardened a bit, and he had that look on that usually came over his face when he was trying to figure her out._

_"Deeks, you aren't an agent-"_

_"Yeah yeah, I'm not an agent, I'm not as good as you guys, whatever. I've heard this all before." He rolled his eyes, and the annoyance was clear on his face. __For some reason, something in her snapped at that comment._

_"Well that could easily be changed, you're just too stubborn or something to sign the forms from Hetty!" The retort came from nowhere, but it had been bugging her ever since she had peeked inside the folder._

_She saw the surprise flash on his face over the fact that she knew, but it disappeared quickly._

_"It isn't that easy Kensi."_

As she pulled up to the red light she let out an exhale. As the time ticked on, she lightly tapped the wheel, needing to do something with her hands. Looking to her left, she made eye contact with a blonde haired lady waiting to cross. She sent a small smile, before looking back at the light, waiting for it to turn green. Finally as it switched, she pressed the pedal down, and made her way across the intersection.

When she was about halfway across, A screech and a loud thump made it's way to her ears. She snapped her gaze over, and saw the lady from the cross walk roll off the hood of a dark truck. But, the truck didn't stop and kept making its way to her. She was trapped, with not enough time to escape. She felt the impact and the intense pain that followed. She remained conscious for a couple more seconds, before she blacked out, only seeing the truck drive away, her eye sight too blurry to read the plates.

* * *

><p><span>Present<span>

Callen winced as the video showed Kensi's car crushing as if it were a soda can.

"Eric play it again." He glared at the screen, hoping for something, anything, but again he go absolutely nothing. Zip. Nada.

He slammed his fist down on the table he was leaning on, frustration seemingly oozing out of him.

"We have an unmarked black truck, it's too dark to see the drivers face, and the road he turns onto has no traffic cameras." He grabbed his head for a second, getting his carefully kept mask of control on. "So we have nothing, abso-fucking-lutely nothing." Screw masks, he was messed up over this and it seemed like they might actually have a dead end.

"Out." He snapped his head up to see Nell sternly pointing out the door.

"Excuse me?" Had he dropped into some alternate universe, was this really happening?

"You heard me grumpy. Out." She snapped her fingers and repointed for emphasis.

"Why?" He was about 50% angry, and 50% confused, which together is not a lovely mix.

"You are not helping the cause right now. All you're doing is being negative, and almost breaking the equipment. So, get out of my ops center." With that she turned around, and typed on her keyboard, bringing up zoomed images and pictures.

He opened his mouth to protest, but she just pointed to the door again. Letting out a small noise of frustration, he trudged out the automatic doors, grumbling under his breath.

"Where are you going and why do you look like a little kid who just had his oreos sat on?" Sam was typing into his computer, only half giving his attention to Callen.

"I just got kicked out of OPS center, so I'm going to go see Kensi because right now, there isn't much I actually can do."

* * *

><p>You know when you're trapped under a ton of blankets, and no matter what, you feel stuck. No matter the amount of struggle, kicking, clawing, you just reach the same conclusion, you're stuck under blankets and frustrated. Kensi had been feeling that, it was actually pretty terrible. It was just black nothingness.<p>

She had no clue why she was in this trapped and confusing state, or how to get out of it. If she could, she would totally be having a panic attack or a little trigger therapy, probably both.

As childish as it sounded, she just wanted to go home. Was that so much to ask?

As the black continued to shroud her mind, she could do nothing, because really there were no other options.

* * *

><p>"Hey Deeks." Callen plopped himself into the chair opposite, trying to get comfortable.<p>

"Hey." It was weak, and Deeks knew it, but it was the best he could do right now.

"So h-"

"Do you have anything?" Deeks cut in, not caring how rude it was. He just needed answers, and Kensi to wake up.

Callen hesitated, he seemed to be thinking over his answer carefully, trying to find the right words.

"We're doing our best. It's going to take time, that's all I can give you." Callen seemed to deflate a bit at his words.

As the clock ticked, marking the passing of another minute, the two men slumped in their chairs, letting pessimism take a swing.

* * *

><p>Deeks threw a slight glance over at Callen, who was napping in the chair opposite him. After coming to the conclusion that he was out, he focused his attention on Kensi.<p>

"Hey Kens, I just need to know you're fighting." He felt slightly ridiculous, but just barely. After all, he was pretty confident that somehow she would hear what he was saying.

"I know you aren't going to wake up. This isn't some silly movie where some catchy music will start playing and somehow magic happens. I know that, but I just need you to wake up."

There was no sign of movement, just the steady beeping of the machine, and the light breathing of Callen. As he watched her for another minute, something small snapped in him.

"Come _on_ Kensi, _please. _I just need you to wake up. You never let anything best you, so don't start now. Just do something, anything, please." He was pleading with her comatose form, squeezing her hand, hoping for something to happen.

"Dammit Kensi, I need you, okay? I really need you, you're the most important person in my life and I can't lose you, so you need to get up."

Sadly, the more he pleaded, the more it hurt. She lay there unmoving. A comatose woman, a sleeping man, and the lazy beeping of a machine the only things to comfort him as he silently broke.

* * *

><p><strong>There's going to be more Kensi and Deeks things coming soon, just maybe not how you expect it...but, never fear Densi is near!<strong>

**Leave me a comment/review, I read every single one and they really help me!**


End file.
